Em Magazine

It was a drizzly November day when I sat home alone on the couch, curled up in a blanket, a mug of tea warming my hands, with Sex and the City re-runs keeping me company.

"Thirty is the new twenty," stated one of the girls, confidently. As the program cut out for a commercial break, my trance was broken and I am transported, once more, into reality; I am not in New York, but on an overstuffed couch in a living room in Maine, the escaped particles of my teabag clinging to the bottom of my empty cup. I, right now, am that 20-something, at the age that Carrie Bradshaw always glances back on but never really elaborates about, as if love is easier when you're a decade younger than middle-aged. I tuned the advertisements out as background noise, and got to thinking; what about love for those of us 20-somethings? Just because we're younger, doesn't mean that it's any easier. In fact, people in their twenties have a whole different set of challenges to face while on the quest for love.

Although there are more married people in the age categories for thirty and beyond--that is, there are less options for those that are still single--isn't it true that most of those that are still in the dating game are searching for something beyond a fling or a one night stand? I mean, it's easy for any single girl to find a hook-up, but what about this: In a society where that's the extent of many people's romantic aspirations, what's a girl to do if she is looking for something more?

As more these questions began filling my head, one right after the other, I couldn't help but wonder: In an age group where the majority of us are single, but the minority of us is actually looking for love, is it harder for 20-somethings to find the real thing than for 30- or 40-somethings?

I once had an older guy accusingly tell me that I am "one of those girls who needs love" and, because of this, he was not my type. I automatically felt embarrassed and defensive, like a little girl being told by a parent that her desires are nothing but fantasy. Looking back, I wish I had told him that he was right. Over the course of our short friendship, he'd bruised my ego and broke my trust. But in retrospect, I am thankful for his impact--with his hurt, he brought lessons and hard as they were to take, they had to be learned. Now, looking back, I know that he was completely right; a guy that is nearing thirty and still doesn't know what to do with his life really isn't my type.

And as I sit here, writing, I am inspired by the voice that Carrie gave to single women who are middle-aged; and I vow to give one to those of us who are, as Ms. Bradshaw put it, "20-somethings." Because, young or old, there are challenges for all of us to face in the world of dating; but when it comes down to it love is love, and a worthy prize in a tricky game.